Pataphysic Sorties

Volume 2 addresses the problems of integrating our everyday Newtonian experience of a rational world with the contradictions of Einstein’s relativistic world, where space/time and logic are both relative and stretchy. The classical Newtonian reality, the one defined and affirmed by all of our senses, is square in every sense, and infinitely measurable.

Newton’s intuitive space and time can be measured in all directions with square blocks and numbers. We could theoretically make an isomorphic Newtonian map of all space on an infinite three-dimensional graph. To the contrary, in Einstein’s relativistic world space and time only behave squarely in small local areas. When somebody is moving in space, or in the vicinity of a massive gravitational object, then both local space and time get warped out of shape. Rulers and clocks have to be rubbery and stretchable, because distance and time become inconsistent, and not able to be measured rationally.

The only truly accurate way to measure or map space/time in the universe would be with a rats' nest of rubber rulers, all constantly expanding and shrinking, stretching and changing this way and that, as the myriad planets, stars, nebulae, and other smaller bodies and particles of matter rambuncturate around the cosmos with one another.

And worse than that: one person’s measurement won’t necessarily equal what another person will measure. And worse still: my clock doesn’t run at the exact same speed as yours does. Time itself is inherently stretchy, and varies from observer to observer. Of course Johnson's complaint, like what Brian Greene was suggesting previously, is that the brains of mutant apes will forever no more be able to grasp the complexities of space/time (to say nothing of the base realities of quantum mechanics) than the brain wiring of Greene's attentive dog is able to model the intricasies of freshman calculus.

Our Homo sapien (wise hominid) DNA evolved excellent abilities for spear throwing, following animal tracks, foraging for bugs and vegetables, and scheming on other hominids. Many sociologists and anthropologists are now talking about the Anthropocene age or epoch, during which among other things we’ve come to deserve a new species name: Homo informivorous: the information-devouring hominid. We’re still the same old barbarians, but we’ve become expert at handling world-changing technology and information systems. We need to be cognizant of these techno-barbarians, They should probably be reported to the proper authorities.

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